Be gentle with yourself

Lost someone

When you're carrying grief.

You're not alone

Grief is the price of having loved someone, and it doesn't follow a neat timeline. There's no right way to do it and no schedule you're failing to keep. Whatever you're feeling, or not feeling, is part of it.

What can help

• Let it come in waves. Grief isn't a straight line, and a hard day after a good one isn't going backwards.
• Talk about them. Saying their name, telling the stories, this keeps a bond, it doesn't betray it.
• Lean on people, even when withdrawing feels easier. You don't have to carry it alone.
• Look after the basics, food, sleep, water. Grief is physical as well as emotional.
• Skylight offers free grief support in NZ (0800 299 100). If the weight feels too much, call or text 1737 any time.