Worth asking, and worth answering

How are you really doing?

The question worth asking, yourself and a mate.

You're not alone

'How are you really doing?' is the question most of us skip, for ourselves and for the people we care about. Men especially can find it hard to say how they actually feel. A small honest check-in matters more than you'd think, and it's often exactly what someone's been waiting for.

What can help

• Ask someone the real question, 'how are you really doing?', and mean it. Then listen. Properly.
• You don't need the perfect words. Showing up a bit clumsy beats not showing up.
• Check on the mate who's gone quiet. Going quiet is often the first sign something's up.
• Say how you're really doing too. It gives the other person permission to do the same.
• Use the message tool to reach out to someone right now.